if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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