I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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