well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Randomize
