I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize