chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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