The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
