I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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