I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize