I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize