i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
