Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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