whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
