I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize