her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
