Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
