i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
