I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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