the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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