She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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