I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I will be naked everywhere
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize