Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
