So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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