He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
So vagazzling was a success
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
