we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
