I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
