the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
