alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
