dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I woke up under a house in Key West
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