Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
