...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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