do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
