oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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