I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
