he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
