Pappa wants mamma naked
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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