She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
we're making bets on your personal life
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize