I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
