ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
