i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
