Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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