I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
birth control should be required to get into college
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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