...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
