Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
