Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
