I'm going to jail i love you
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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