Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
