i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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