You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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