would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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