Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize