I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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