thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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