Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
