Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
