i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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