matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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