In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
