its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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