No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
