I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
