I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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