another moral hangover. fuck.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize